Let's go for the win!

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Influence is easier than you think. There's no need to convince others to believe what we say. You just have to stop them unbelieving…

Negotiating, Part 3, crush it!

"During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively." – Brian Koslow.

Control and Illusion:

One of the most effective ways to dispel disbelief is to give the other person the illusion of control through calibrated and open-ended questions—AKA asking for help.

When you ask close-ended questions, you push a single correct answer, and the other person feels no control.

When you ask open-ended questions, you initiate a break and a thinking process, encouraging the other person to engage in problem-solving actively, and the other guy feels in control.

Open-ended questions are not requests but curious questions that involve a "How" and "How" ask for help, which commits both parties.

Example: "How am I supposed to do that?"

-> Reflect on your habits about negotiation. 

Don't fight for control. Borrow it strategically.

Calibrated questions:

Declarations offer a target for attack. Calibrated questions don't.

These questions are subject to interpretation rather than being strictly determined. They let you present ideas and proposals without sounding pushy.

Calibrated questions can educate the other party about the issue instead of causing a battle by telling them what the problem is.

Always keep the path you want the negotiation to go in mind. Use and abuse the words "what" and "how." Avoid the words "why," "who," "when," and "where."

Examples: "What about this is important to you?"; "What's the objective?"; "How can I help to make this better for us?".

-> Do you tend to force 1 specific answer? Your answer... You can't force it. Just illuminate a path for the other part to reach it.

Some rules:

Albert Mehrabian's 7-38-55 percent rule states that only 7% of a message is based on words, 38% on tone of voice, and 55% on body language.

Don't just focus on the words. Read the room and meet people face to face if you can. We all can identify a reluctant "Yes." Address it on the spot.

The rule of 3: Get the other person to agree to the exact thing 3 times in the same conversation. This is crucial to spotting liars. It's tough to lie or fake conviction constantly.

And it's not literal. You can ask something 3 times in 3 different ways. Btw, this is one way to test the 3 types of "Yes" we discussed last time.

Examples: "What's the biggest challenge you faced?"; "What are we up against here?"; "What do you see as the most difficult thing to get around?"

-> Your intuition always notices when the speech and the body say different things. Practice reading other people's body language consciously.

Negotiator types:

What's your negotiation style? There are 3: Accommodator, Assertive, or Analyst.

The Accommodator: Very friendly and pleasant, quickly makes the first concession, peace-seeking even when there's no deal. – Nothing wrong with it just make sure you don't sacrifice your objections!

The Assertive: Very fiery, loves winning, direct and candid, hardly will make the first concession, and time is money. – Great for any negotiation, but always be aware of your tone!

The Analyst: Methodical and diligent, never in a rush but always doing it right, and hates surprises. – You will be the most well-prepared, but don't forget to smile!

-> Can you identify which one you are? 

When you know both parties’ negotiation styles, you can adjust and optimize results.

What else?

The Ackerman Bargain model uses the offer-counteroffer method. Plan the negotiation and use the summary below to achieve your goal.

1. Set your target price (your goal);

2. Set your first offer at 65% of your target price;

3. Calculate 3 raises of decreasing increments (85, 95, and 100%);

4. Use lots of empathy and different ways of saying "No" to get the other side to counter before you increase your offer.

5. When calculating the final amount, use precise, nonround numbers.

6. On your final number, include a nonmonetary item they probably don't want to show you're at your limit.

-> This is what preparation for bargaining price looks like. You can use it to buy products, negotiate rent, and in any other situation where you need to lower a price.

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Last thoughts:

Your job in a negotiation is more than just reaching an agreement. It's reaching one that can be implemented and making sure that happens.

In Chris Voss's words, "While an agreement is nice, a contract is better, and a signed check is best."

"He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation." – Robert Estabrook.

-> Implement slowly. There was a lot of information, and it will take a lot of practice.

But these will come naturally, like playing a game.

See you in a week.

Your Zine.